Why is being at home so triggering?

Updated: Apr 22

Just a quick one that might put some of your uncomfortable feelings in their rightful place.

I have to say, the news is frightening and the unrest is definitely causing me stress. But I'm just as triggered sitting around in my inside world as I am watching the news about the outside world.

Anyone else triggered by home life itself? And why?

Why do I wake up every day with a sense of dread at the thought of being indoors? Why do I get mid-afternoon anxiety attacks? Why is it so hard to keep my head clear? Why do my thoughts continually circle back to a general unease?

It's helpful for me right now to remember, a good deal of this stress is from the past.

Because the other times in my life that I've been "trapped" inside, I was under extreme mental distress. Those other periods have been marked by crippling depression which kept me bedridden, or overwhelming fear/anxiety that kept me too afraid to go outdoors, or emotionally abusive relationships that necessitated I was always within sight, or a lonesome childhood spent hiding from an unstable family of addicts.

When I'm back in this same situation, my brain links up with familiar past experiences, and I'm none the wiser. I'm flooded with the ghosts of the emotions that used to be inescapable, but it feels like I'm in the chaos right now. My fear of slipping into a mentally unhealthy state is unshakable. My expectation of abrupt changes or dangerous situations never fades.

It's hard when "home" hasn't always been a great place.

Just wondering if anybody else has felt this?

What are you doing to combat it?

Traumatized Motherfxckers

Not doomed. Not damaged.

Not dead yet.

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Atlanta, GA, USA

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