Jess Loses It
For 29 years I blamed myself, pitied myself, and considered myself helpless. I held a victim's mindset and expected the world to nurse my wounds. I suffered through severe, pervasive anxiety and depression that made my own brain a dangerous place. I overworked myself and my stressed out body incited autoimmune disorder and digestive dysfunction. I felt burning hate and self-blame, every day. I felt such immense pain that I idealized suicide and neglected to see a point in perpetually struggling without reason; if I had to face nothing but difficult days, I'd rather opt-out. I made self-destructive decisions to pass the time and keep myself stagnant. Without hope, I fell into a self-created life of unfulfillment, loneliness, and abuse.
Then, I got help. I received new information about my diagnosis. I learned how to calm down my short-circuiting body and disorganized Trauma Brain. And I stopped feeding into my own fucked up thinking.
I started to improve, I left my abusive relationship(s), and in the aftermath of losing it (all), I set out to create a new life with a new focus; spreading personal experiences and useful resources to help change our individual understandings of Trauma.
From biomedical scientist to isolated and abused agoraphobic to mental health rioter.
Who started this thing and why?